It's Christmas Eve and the entire family showed up. Aunt Mary's twin girls have been chasing me all day, trying to tie ribbons on my tail. I'm a boy! (Well, sort of.) Let me have some dignity!
Uncle Barry drank too much eggnog and puked in my litter box. If Mom and Dad think I'm gonna scrape up that mess, they better think again. That's disgusting! I pooped in the dog bowl. Scruffy will never notice, believe me. Now I'm working up a nice hairball for Uncle Barry. He'll be taking his boots off any minute. He always does at this time of night.
Aunt Dolly's little boy keeps screaming, "KITTY!" and trying to pick me up by the scruff of my neck. Hey, kid, I'm not a kitten anymore! I should just give him a swipe of my claws, but he is sort of cute for a human. I'll just put up with it until he stops amusing me.
Soon the family will gather around the tree to open presents. I will be heading to my favorite pillow bed so I can just spread myself out like a spilled bag of kibble.
Thank god Christmas only comes once a year.
*photo by Paul Myers
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