Bullying

I had lunch with a friend recently and we discussed the fact that I have a mental block that keeps me from succeeding at what I really want to do.

It turns out we had both been bullied when we were kids. She told me that sometimes we, as victims of bullies, grow up and continue to bully ourselves because a small part of us believes the things that were said to us. That was a jaw dropping moment for me because I could totally see that.

A part of me believes I don't have what it takes, that nobody is going to enjoy what I write and that I don't deserve success as a writer.

Screw that!

As I told my friend about the book series I had planned she could see how happy I was, the passion in my voice as I spoke. I was lit up from the inside. That is what you are supposed to do with your life. Find the thing that makes you most happy and turn it into a career.

I have to channel Stuart Smalley again and repeat his mantra: I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!

To all the once-bullied out there, stop bullying  yourself! Move on. That period of your life is over and you are destined for greatness.

Not tonight

I had a busy day and now I'm too sleepy. Back to writing tomorrow.

Nestle Boycott

I have been hearing for months how Nestle has been stealing water from California to bottle Arrowhead and Pure Life Water.

They have no remorse for the fact that this state is going through one of the worst droughts in history.

I just found a quote from Nestle CEO Tim Brown, when asked if his corporation will ever consider halting the company’s unprecedented water extraction (like Starbucks did). He replied, “Absolutely not! In fact, if I could increase it, I would!”

What the-- WHAT?!?

What sort of lunatic takes water from a dying state and sells it back to its own residents? It's like something out of The Lorax.

Hardly anybody reads this blog, so I doubt my saying "Boycott Nestle!" is going to do much, but I cannot imagine activist groups will let this one go. Nestle has plenty of water bottling factories elsewhere so they can afford to close this one. If they don't, the people won't forgive their actions.

I have already stopped buying Nestle products and will avoid them until they stop stealing our water.

Asthma

Breathe in. Breathe out. Then repeat.

For some it's not so easy.

I have asthma. I've had it most of my life, but didn't realize it until my twenties. I think being a serious singer helped. I did more breathing exercises when I was younger, so my lungs were strong with a big capacity. Then I got older and left school. I didn't do my vocal exercises anymore, even when I was singing in rock bands.

I was finally diagnosed, but the medications didn't help much. The only thing that makes a difference for me is the rescue inhaler, but I'm not supposed to use it unless it's an emergency.

So now it's back to the breathing exercises. I have to retrain my body to take deeper breaths and expand my lungs.

Breathe in deeply. Hold it. Let it out as slowly as possible. Then repeat. I've considered wearing an ipod with a breathing exercise track to remind me every day.

Now I refuse to be a slave to drugs that don't show me any obvious sign of relief. I'm sorry, but my asthma attacks went away just as quickly before I was on QVAR. And it never prevented anything. Every winter, coughing fits. Now that I've quit taking it I haven't noticed anything different. I just need to stay out of cold air. That's mainly what causes my attacks (also cigarette smoke and perfume). A scarf around my mouth and nose works just as well.

And before you all start freaking out, I have researched it. It is possible to manage my asthma without drugs. And I will keep my rescue inhaler with me at all times for emergencies. Fortunately, it's never gotten too bad.

FYI, I don't recommend this for anyone who has severe asthma. If you have had moments when you could not take a breath at all, that is different. Please take your medication!

Have a beautiful day!

Blown to Bits

"You may be shining now, but I will destroy you. I will line up those of your kind side-by-side until your are erased from my sight. You will be gone and the others behind you will fall into place. Then they, too, will be blown to bits by my bombs and arrows."

With one tap of my finger, I fired the missile. I watched with glee as the glowing blades pierced the colorful gems.

I did it! My kingdom was now restored!

Glancing at the clock, I gasped and quickly shut down my laptop. 

"Damn you, Jewel Match 3!" I always lose track of time whenever I play this stupid game.

--

Seriously, I am obsessed with this video game, Jewel Match 3. I think I go into a trance watching these colorful jewels fall and burst apart. Not only is it a beautiful gem matching game, but there are puzzles to put together, hidden objects to find, gardens to plant and castles to build.

Review: American Horror Story

I always say I don't like violence, yet American Horror Story is one of the most violent and disturbing shows I've ever seen and I love it. What the heck does that say about me? Am I psycho?

Oddly, when I first watched it a few years ago I could barely handle the first episode. I have always been a fan of horror films and I had been anticipating this new show, really looking forward to it! It was just too upsetting for some reason. It felt too real, I guess.

Last year my daughter got me to watch the fourth season with her. The writing and acting was so good I decided to check out the first season again. This time I watched it knowing what to expect. I think that made all the difference.

For anyone who hasn't seen American Horror Story, but are curious, let me explain a few things. Each season is a completely different show, set in a different city with different themes. There is a core ensemble of actors in every season, but they play different characters.

Even though there is every kind of monster represented (evil spirits, demons, aliens, witches, zombies, etc.), the core of the show is about the human psyche and the darkness people are capable of. Thankfully, each season has a happy ending. If not, I probably wouldn't like the show as much.

Here is a brief summary:
Season 1: Murder House - This focuses on infidelity and how it affects a family. The setting is a haunted house where many grizzly murders took place over the past 100 years. There were so many ghosts, sometimes we wondered who was alive and who was dead.
Season 2: Asylum - The season was all about faith. It was probably the most disturbing and bizarre for me. The setting is the 1960s in an asylum for the criminally insane, but it's not just the inmates who are scary. The show included alien abduction, Nazi experiments, demonic possession and serial killers.
Season 3: Coven - The theme was racism. This was set in modern day New Orleans, but flashed back to the 1890s. It was about a group of young witches learning to harness their powers as they faced off against a Voodoo priestess and witch hunters. Ghosts and zombies and Hell, oh my!
Season 4: Freak Show - The focus was on tolerance and acceptance. A group of "freaks" are the heroes of this season, which is set in the 1940s. The monsters in this season are mostly human.

Season 5 has started, but I won't watch it until next year when it's on Netflix. I hear there are vampires and ghosts in this one.

Warning: This is not for kids. Duh.

Wedding Anniversary 23

It was 23 years ago that I married my sweetheart on Halloween, our favorite holiday.

We met while working at a little electronics company. I was the receptionist and he was a consultant in the drafting department. It was love at first sight for me; love at second sight for him (he says).

He broke the ice by helping me move into my first apartment with my girlfriend. Two months later I was practically living at his apartment. Within six months we had officially moved in together. I felt bad for my roommate, so I continued to pay my share of the rent until she found someone else.

Six months later we bought a house together, a month after that he proposed and 12 months later we were married. We've been in the same house all this time.

I guess when it's right you just know it.
--

How did you know you had met "the one"?